Have We Lost Our Senses?

I need to be clear about something, it is not that the homes of these unself-disciplined boys are lacking in parental discipline. Often than not, these young boys are punished frequently and severely throughout their childhood. They are slapped, punched, kicked, beaten and whipped by their parents for even minor infractions. Here's a news bulletin for you, this discipline is meaningless. It is meaningless because it is undisciplined discipline.

It is meaningless because the parents themselves are unself-disciplined and as a result serve as undisciplined role models for their sons and daughters. They are the "Do as I say, not do as I do" parents. I'm not going to win friends in the next couple of statements, but we need to face the real issues plaguing these young boys and men. These do as I say do parents, may frequently get drunk in front of their sons. They may fight with each other in front of their children without restraint, dignity, or rationality. They make promises they don't keep. Their lives and affairs are in disorder and disarray and their attempts to order the lives of their children seem therefore to make little or no sense to the children.

Let's reason, if dad beats on mom regularly, what sense does it make to a boy when his mom beats him because he beat up his sister? What sense does it make when he is told by his out-of-control parents that he must learn to his control temper?

At a young age, our parents are godlike figures to our childish eyes. What our parents do and the way they do it seems right to a child. Watching our parents day in and day out behaving with self-discipline, restraint, dignity and a capacity to order their lives then the child will come to feel stable, grounded and learn the best way to live. If he sees his parents living contrary to what they are attempting to teach him, then the assumption is his life will be one of disorder, violence, and recklessness.

Here is a seed for life; Good discipline requires time. When we have little to no time to devote to our sons, or no time that we are willing to give, then we don't even observe them closely enough to become aware of when disciplinary measures are required. Even in the instance where there is no doubt that parental discipline is warranted, we may still ignore the need on the grounds that, I just don't have the energy to deal with him today. Or finally if we are pushed into action by their lack of behavior or our irritation, we will impose discipline often out of anger rather than deliberation.  

I believe it goes without saying that parenting is a 24/7 - 365 days a year job. It's not easy under the best of circumstances, but it is absolutely brutal if the parental unit itself is in disrepair. The philosophy, "Don't do as I do, do as I say," is totally obsolete. I could be wrong here, but to me if you love someone or something you make time for them. You are devoted to them. You desire the best for them. When they hurt, you hurt! Their successes are your shared successes, and their failure are yours as well. Again, I could be wrong, but what a game changer... if I'm right?