In theory, there exist two kinds of lies or two categories: a little white lie and a black lie. A black lie is a statement we make that we absolutely know is false. A white lie is a statement that we make that is not in itself false but leaves out a large part of the truth. The fact that a lie is white does not make it any less of a lie or any more acceptable. Little white lies can be just as destructive as black ones.
Oddly enough in some social circles, white lies are considered acceptable in many of their relationships because, well we don't want to hurt people's feelings. For parents to feed their sons a pack of white lies is not only considered okay, but it's thought to be loving and beneficent. Parents who have been brave enough to be open with each other find it difficult often to be open with their children. This set of parents don't usually tell their children that they smoke weed, or they had an altercation the night before concerning their relationship. Usually, this lack of openness can be explained on the basis of a loving desire to protect/shield their sons or daughters from unnecessary worries. Yet, more often than not such protection is unsuccessful. Seriously, let's be real! The children already know you smoke marijuana, that you had a fight the night before and several other little tidbits that would blow your mind. The end result then is not protection, but deprivation. These boys are deprived of knowledge they might gain about money, illness, drugs, sex, marriage their parents and people in general. They are also deprived of the reassurance they receive if these topics were discussed more openly. Lastly, they are deprived of role models of openness and honesty and are provided instead with role models of partial honesty, incomplete openness and limited courage. For some parents the desire to protect their children is motivated by genuine albeit misguided love. For others, the loving desire to protect their children serves more as a cover up and a desire to avoid being challenged by their children as well as a desire to maintain their authority over them.
The greatest lesson to be learned here is no matter what the outcome or the consequences, we as parents cannot afford to lie to ourselves.
So, the expression of one's opinions, feelings, ideas, and even knowledge must be suppressed from time to time in these and many other circumstances in the course of human affairs. If then, we are to be dedicated to the truth, what rules should we adopt. Well, I'm glad you asked. Now I must warn you in advance, some will find these next few statements difficult if not painful. These steps are necessary if we hope to have any chance of saving our sons, our families and humanity. First, don't lie! Second, keep in mind that the act of withholding the truth is always potentially a lie. Third, the decision to withhold the truth should never be based on personal needs or gains, such as the need for power, the need to be liked or a need to protect one's position from challenge.
Let's be honest, this might seem like an impossible and never-ending burden or even a real drag. It is indeed a never-ending burden of self-discipline which is why most people opt out for a life of very limited honesty. In this way, it is easier to always hide behind lies and conceal truth. You can't imagine the disarray of a home where these values are not encouraged. If you can't, just visit any news outlet there are plenty of examples.
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